The Mentalist: Too Late For Goodbyes
by Alasse Fefalas
Summary: Lisbon is left to deal the repercussions of the events leading up to and after the death of Red John. Lisbon-sided Jisbon, Lisbon-centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Too late for goodbyes: Chapter 1**

By Alasse Fefalas

The room was small and dark. There were five lights in the ceiling, but only one was lit. The grey walls reminded her of a prison cell - which was the effect they had always gone for. The FBI agents had escorted Lisbon and her team from the CBI building and into the FBI office in Sacramento. There, she was separated from the rest and made to wait in the interrogation room - like a criminal she's not.

Lisbon forced herself not to fidget in her chair. In all her career, she had never imagined herself sitting on the other side of the interrogation table. Her hands were clasped together, unable to do much by the metal bounds on her wrist. Lisbon stared angrily at the double mirror. She knew they were watching her - she could feel their eyes boring into her, wondering what she knew. Truthfully, she knew nothing; although that wasn't what the FBI thought, apparently.

Lisbon tilted her head slightly to face the door when she heard a metallic click. Agent Abbot walked in carrying a manila folder stamped with the FBI logo across the front. Looking at her, he took the seat directly in front of Lisbon.

"I would call you Agent Lisbon, but CBI is now defunct and you're out of a job," Abbot said politely as he placed the manila folder on the table. "So, Lisbon. Let me ask you again: where is Patrick Jane?"

"I don't know," Lisbon said, shaking her head. "You can ask me as many times as you want, Agent Abbot, but the answer will be the same. I really don't know where he is."

Agent Abbot stared at Lisbon, who defiantly challenged him back with a stare of her own. "You should have just let us have him, Lisbon. We wouldn't be in this situation now."

"When you disbanded the CBI, I was investigating a group of corrupt government law enforcersm I had every right to suspect that you were one of them."

"Even if I wasn't from this state?"

"We don't know how far the reach of the Blake Association is," Lisbon retorted, her hands clasping each other tighter. "You kinda pulled the plug on the investigation while we were halfway through it."

Agent Abbot leaned back and folded his arms, studying Lisbon who simply sat there, staring at him. They stayed that way for a while. One observing, judging amd deliberating. The other, fuming.

Lisbon broke the silence first. "Listen. I want to find Jane as much as you do. Me sitting here wouldn't do anything much to solve the problem. Let me help you."

Agent Abbot raised an eyebrow. Slowly, he leaned forwards and placed his hand on the folder on the desk. "You are aware that we have your phone, yes?"

"You took it from me when you arrested me."

"Yes, that we did. A few hours ago, you received a missed call... and a voice message from Patrick Jane."

Lisbon wasn't surprised that it was Jane who had called her. When she saw her phone ringing, she had guessed it was him. She could only wonder what he had said in his message.

"Would you like to listen to it?"

Lisbon nodded without hesitation. Agent Abbot leaned back in his chair and knocked twice against the glass. Crossing his arms, they waited. Moments later, an agent came in with a voice recorder in hand. He placed it on the table and promptly walked out, closing the door behind him.

"After you, Lisbon," Agent Abbot gestured.

Lisbin unclasped her hands and grabbed the recorder with both hands. Her thumb hovered over the play button, hesitating. Did she really want to hear what Jane left for her? What had he done? Was Red John dead? Or was it a message Red John had forced Jane to leave?

"What's wrong, Lisbon? Don't you want to hear what your boyfriend said?"

Lisbon looked at Agent Abbot sharply. "Nothing's wrong. And again, Agent Abbot, he's not my boyfriend." Resolutely, she pressed the play button.

"Lisbon. It's over. It's done. Just wanted you to know I'm okay. I'm gonna miss you," Jane's voice said.

Lisbon could hear the mix of emotion in Jane's voice - relief and sadness, both struggling to dominate each other.

"Jane..." Lisbon whispered. She knew what he meant. After all these years, Patrick Jane had finally gotten revenge against the man who killed his wife and child - and Lisbon wasn't there to stop him.

"We traced the call to an open park. Would you like to know what we found there?"

Lisbon took a deep breath. She was still shaken by the fact that Jane would still carry out his revenge. She knew he would have, but she had vowed to herself to be there when he did, to try and stop him. Just that one single thing, and she couldn't do it. "Bertram. You found Bertram."

"Funny you should say that. When I went to chapel at Alexandria Cemetery, I found Detective Cordero and Gale Bertram dead on the floor, shot to death."

"What?" Lisbon was stunned. Bertram wasn't found in the park? He wasn't Red John?

"We also found your service weapon on Detective Cordero," Agent Abbot said, leaning forwards. "Would you like to explain that?"

"I gave my gun to Jane... for his protection. Cordero must have been part of The Blake Association... searched Jane or something," Lisbon said. "I don't know."

"Are you part of this so called Blake Association, Lisbon?"

Lisbon was taken aback. That wasn't a question she was expecting. "What?! No!" Lisbon replied angrily.

"Then how would you explain this?" Abbot asked as he opened the folder. Inside was a picture of Sheriff McAllister, on the floor of a park.

Lisbon grabbed the folder off the table and looked at the picture. "He was supposed to be dead. The lab reports said that he died in the bomb blast in Jane's house... how is he still alive?"

"He's dead," Abbot corrected her. "Strangled to death, according to my M.E. He had a gunshot wound in his stomach, which is a match to the gun that we found in his hand. Now tell me, Lisbon, if you aren't a part of the Blake Association, how was a supposedly dead man found strangled to death on a park floor?"

Slowly, Lisbon put the folder on the table. "Jane called from the park you found McAllister?"

"Yes."

Lisbon shook her head. It was suddenly so clear to her."Agent Abbot, I'm not part of the Blake Association. I never was, and I never will be. This man you found in the park? Sheriff Thomas McAllister? He's Red John."

"How would you know that?"

"Jane compiled a list of seven suspects, of which McAllister was in." Lisbon held up seven fingers and put them down one by one as she explained. "Brett Partridge was killed by Red John, Bob Kirkland killed by the Blake Association. Ray Haffner and Brett Stiles were killed in the bomb blast that we thought killed McAllister too. Reede Smith was almost killed by the Blake Association and told us about them. Only Gale Bertram was left. That was how we thought Bertram was Red John, hence the last press review CBI ever had."

"How did Jane get this list of suspects?"

L"Somewhere from his mind, I don't know," Lisbon shrugged. "All I know was that these men were suspected of being a violent mass murderer and we tracked them down. I catch killers, Agent Abbot. That's what cops do."

"And you trusted this list?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I trust Jane."

Abbot sighed and shook his head. "Jane strangled McAllister."

"Red John was a violent mass murderer. He killed Jane's wife and child."

"And so what? Revenge justifies murder?"

"No, it doesn't," Lisbon replied sharply, glaring at Abbot. "If you hadn't arrested me, I could have been there. I could have tried to stop him."

"Would you?"

Lisbon hesitated for a moment before answering. A few days before, she had told him that Red John didn't deserve a trial, but she only said it for him to agree to bring her along. However, she was starting to believe it herself. She could have tried to stop Jane from killing him, but would have have actually done it? She didn't know. "Yes," Lisbon lied.

Agent Abbot stared at her. Lisbon could see on his face that he didn't believe her entirely. Slowly, he nodded. "Okay... Okay." Leaning back, he knocked three times against the mirror.

Agent Mullins came in moments later, carrying an evidence bag with Lisbon's personal items. Placing on the table, he held out a key and gestured to her to being her wrists up. Lisbon obliged and he released her from the metal handcuffs.

"Thank you," Lisbon said, rubbing her wrists from the slight chafing of the cuffs. "So I can finally go now?"

"Yes," Abbot said, standing up. "Just don't leave town."

"Hey, what about the rest of my team?"

"They'll be released in due time."

"Thank you," Lisbon said politely.

Nodding at her, Agent Abbot walked out of the room. Lisbon took the bag and spilled the contents onto the table. Grabbing her wallet and phone, she immediately pocketed them. Picking up her CBI ID card, she stared at it for a moment before she stuffed it into her back pocket with a sigh. She took her CBI badge and hooked it onto her jeans before sighing again and made it join her phone in her pocket. She stared at her own cuffs on the table before deciding to keep it. If she was lucky, she might still be able to use it next time.

"Ready?" Agent Mullins asked.

Lisbon looked at the young Agent and nodded. She couldn't wait to get out of there.

* * *

A/N: Oh look! It's not a one-shot! I don't know if Heller's gonna tell us what happened during the two-year time jump, so this is how I'm envisioning Lisbon left Sacramento to... wherever that she went to. Gonna be some one sided Jisbon moments with Lisbon... somewhere down the fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will follow me! Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Too Late For Goodbyes: Chapter 2**

By Alasse Fefalas

Lisbon leaned heavily against her front door. Wearily, she emptied the contents of her pockets - save for her phone - onto the table by the door. Her apartment was still dark - she hadn't bothered switching on any lights and the drawn curtains didn't leave any space for the dying sunlight outside to creep in. It was just her, alone in the darkness. Sighing, she grabbed her hairband and let her hair loose. Slowly, she slid down to the floor, her back still leaning against the door. It had been a long and tiring cab ride back. Before she reached home, all she wanted to do was collapse on her bed. Now that she was home, all she wanted to do was go out.

Fingers raking through her hair, Lisbon let out an angry shout. The events of the day had all happened so fast and now that she was alone, it all seemed to be playing in slow motion in her head. She had lost her job - her career that she worked her whole life for, she had gotten arrested, gotten her team arrested, Red John was dead, and Jane was nowhere to be found.

Jane was gone. She had lost him. She had lost him to Red John.

Lisbon fished her phone out of her pocket and replayed the message he left her. Anguish filled her when she heard him say that he was okay. She knew he meant physically, not mentally. There was no way he could have been mentally okay after killing the man he was chasing for ten years.

"I'm gonna miss you," Jane's voice said.

Lisbon placed a hand over her mouth to stop herself from sobbing. A waterfall of tears came down and she couldn't stop them. Despair, frustration, exasperation filled her all at once. Her chest felt constricted as emotions overwhelmed her. Removing her hand from her mouth, she took gulps of air as sobs escaped her. Pulling her knees to her chest, Lisbon cried.

* * *

Lisbon woke with a start. Frantically, she around at her surroundings, calming down when she realized she had fallen asleep on the floor, in front of her door. The cold from the ground and creeped up her back filling her with an unnatural chill. With a groan, she stood up and stretched in an attempt to dispel the dark cloud over her. Groggily, she walked to her kitchen and poured herself a much needed glass of water. Her throat was parched from all the crying.

Shaking her head, Lisbon chastised herself mentally. It had been a long time since she had cried that much. Too long, in fact. On one hand, it felt good to let go but on the other hand, she was ashamed at herself for having done such a thing. She was the cool, calm and level headed one. Not the emotional crying wreck.

Lisbon let out a sigh. She took her cup in her hand and walked to the couch. Every step felt heavy, like the whole world was weighing her down. Planting herself at the corner of the couch, Lisbon glanced at the glaring red lights of the LED clock on her shelf. It was one thirty in the morning. She must have been really exhausted, having come home at eight.

Lisbon stared into the darkness of her home. It didn't matter what time it was. She didn't have work the next day. She didn't have a job. And she would have to get used to that, at least until the FBI investigation was over.

Lisbon felt a buzz from her pocket. Placing the cup on the table, she took out her phone. A message had come in from Cho.

"Out?" it read. She was quite used to his one word messages.

"Home," she replied back.

Her phone buzzed again. His reply came almost instantly. "Sleeping?"

"Can't. "

"Pizza?"

"Now? It's 1.42am."

Lisbon's phone rang. Quickly, she picked up the call.

"They don't have pineapples on them," Cho said stoically.

"Where are you?"

"Jane's attic. Rigsby and Van Pelt are here too."

Lisbon paused. How did they get into the building? It didn't matter. "Save some for me," Lisbon said as she stood up.

"Okay," Cho replied simply and hung up.

Lisbon pocketed her phone and went into the toilet, switching on the first light in her house for the night. The bright white light blinded her momentarily. Feeling her way around, she stood in front of her sink. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the light. The image in the mirror scared her a little. She didn't recognize herself. Her eyes were slightly swollen and red, her cheeks streaked by tears, and her hair dishevelled. This wasn't her.

Turning the tap on, Lisbon rubbed away the traces of her weakness from her face. The cold water woke her up, away from the funk she had slipped into. No, she wouldn't spend the rest of her life pining away for Jane. She refused to.

Lisbon looked at the reflection in the mirror again. The cold water had reduced the puffiness of her eyes and had removed the tear stains from her cheeks. She looked more like herself. Picking up a comb, she took out the kinks in her hair. Once satisfied that she no longer looked like a crazy person, she exited the toilet and switched off the light.

Darkness shrouded her again, the transition from bright light to blackness blinded her again. Guiding her way through her house through muscle memory, she grabbed her keys and wallet from the side table and pulled the door open. Her team was waiting for her.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the crazy angst, but I felt it was kind of warranted. I feel really bad that I made such a strong character breakdown, but with everything that had happened and all... yeah. She'll bounce back though... I'm sure of it. Somehow.

Thanks for all the follows/favs/reviews! I'm really glad you like the story! I hope you enjoyed this chapter (despite all that angst)! Reviews are much appreciated! Thanks for reading!

PS. Updates won't be as frequent after this because school. ): I'll try my best though!


	3. Chapter 3

**Too Late For Goodbyes: Chapter 3**

By Alasse Fefalas

Lisbon stopped her car outside the gates of the CBI building. Locking her car, she walked up to the gates and pushed it slightly. To her surprise, it was unlocked. She wondered whether the FBI had already cleared out the building to leave it unguarded like such. Shrugging, she opened a gap large enough for her to slip through and closed the gate again. No sense letting anyone find out there were people inside, if anyone came to check at all.

For a moment, she simply stood at the gate, staring at the partially lit building. This was probably the last time she was coming here. There was no other reason to return. Melancholy settled in her chest at the sobering thought. For more than ten years, she had been working in this building. Some days were better than worse, but she knew she enjoyed her time there. And now, in a blink of an eye, she was jobless.

A small, moving shadow from the top window caught her eye, reminding her where the team was. Entering the dimly lit building, Lisbon crossed the lobby, now devoid of the security counters, and entered the stairwell. Slowly, Lisbon walked up. Exiting at the Serious Crimes floor, she took a look around the area before continuing up the stairs that led to the attic. Jane's attic, as they had dubbed it after he had built his nest there.

The lights in the corridor leading to the room were lit and she could hear quiet voices travelling down the empty hallway. The click of her boots echoed with every step she took, alerting the occupants of the attic, whose conversation had stopped.

"Who's there?" Rigsby asked in an authoritative voice.

"Do you know we're trespassing?" Lisbon asked in response, smiling at the three who were sitting on crates in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, we know," Cho replied.

Lisbon entered the room and looked around. The FBI had removed most of the furniture, leaving only crates and the table by the window behind. Previously hosting Jane's case files, it now accommodated a large pizza box and several cans of cold beer, sweating in the warm summer night air. "They didn't take the table," she pointed out.

"They didn't want to bother. It's bolted to the wall," Van Pelt replied. "We tried moving it."

"You look like hell," Cho noted as he dragged a crate over for Lisbon to sit on, forming a circle.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the only one," Lisbon shrugged as she sat down.

It was true. The other three had exhaustion written all over their faces, complimented by the dark shadows under their eyes and their wrinkled clothes.

"It's been a rough day," Van Pelt commented.

"Yeah," Rigsby agreed. Cho simply nodded.

"What time were you guys released?" Lisbon asked.

"About an hour and a half ago," Rigsby answered.

"Why not go home? You guys look exhausted."

"Didn't feel right. Not without a case closed pizza," Rigsby shrugged.

"We didn't close a case," Lisbon said, confused.

"Jane did," Van Pelt piped up beside her.

"He solved the Red John case," said Cho.

"Guys, Jane killed Red John," Lisbon said slowly. "And it wasn't Bertram."

"We know," Cho said.

"Abbot interrogated each one of of us whether we knew anything about McAllister's death in the park," Rigsby said. "It wasn't hard to figure it out."

"Don't know how he did it... but he still solved it in the end," Van Pelt said in awe.

"And that warrants for case closed pizza," Rigsby said as he stretched behind him. He lobbed over a beer to each of them and carefully took the pizza box from the table. Opening it, he said sadly, "Our last ever case closed pizza together."

"Feels kinda wrong to celebrate without Jane though," Van Pelt lamented as she held a slice of pizza in front of her.

"He is a wanted man," Cho said as he took a slice from the box.

"And we're here anyway, at Jane's attic," Rigsby said. "So it's kinda like he's here with us somehow."

"Hey is no one else bothered that Jane actually killed a man?" Lisbon asked. She was taken aback by the casual attitudes they were holding towards the case.

"Nope," Cho answered.

"Not me," Van Pelt said.

"A little," Rigsby admitted. "But it's Red John."

Lisbon stared at the three of them. They were unusually calm about it.

"Even if anyone had tried to stop him, he wouldn't have listened anyway," Van Pelt said. "I mean, it's Jane. He never listens."

"You wouldn't have stopped him, anyway," Cho said bluntly.

Lisbon looked at Cho sharply. She was about to retort when it struck her: he was right. Despite everything she said, she wouldn't have stopped him from exacting his revenge. She had even willingly given him her gun earlier in the day. It was for his protection, she kept telling herself, but deep down inside, she knew the only way to stop Red John was to kill him. She realized that she had meant it when she said some people didn't deserve a trial. In that instant, she knew she had already forgiven him.

Slowly, Lisbon nodded. "You're right. I wouldn't have stopped him. I would have tried, but it would have been a half-hearted attempt at most."

"Yup," Cho said matter-of-factly.

"Gimme that pizza," Lisbon gestured to Rigsby. With a slice of pizza and an open can of beer in each hand, Lisbon looked at each of them. "Last case closed pizza. To Jane."

"To Jane," the rest echoed.

The first bite felt ritualistic. After more than ten years of having a celebratory pizza with each solved case, it was a rather solemn moment, especially for Lisbon, Rigsby and Cho - the three who had worked together for the longest. After this, there would be no pizza, no donuts from Marie's, no new tricks to learn from Jane when bored of paperwork. It would all be different.

All four of them ate in silence, taking one slice after the other. There was no need for words. Each knew what it meant to themselves, and to each other. A companionable silence was all there needed to be.

Finishing off the pizza, Rigsby then voiced the question that was on everyone's minds: "So... what now?"

Lisbon felt three set of eyes train on her. It was so natural for them to turn to her, to seek guidance, like children turning to a mother. Lisbon's heart fell when she realized her family was now broken. "Frankly, I don't know," Lisbon admitted.

"What can we do?" Van Pelt asked miserably.

"We could get new jobs," Cho suggested.

"As what? FBI agents?" Rigsby sneered.

"Maybe," Cho replied.

"I don't want to work for them," Van Pelt declared angrily. "It's because of them that we no longer have a job in the first place."

"There's that," Cho said.

"What's your plan, Boss?" Rigsby asked. "We gonna look for Jane?"

Lisbon shook her head. "It's Jane. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be found. Remember Las Vegas?"

The three nodded in unison. It was hard to forget. Lisbon was at her lowest at that point, feeling angry, bitter and mostly betrayed when Jane left without goodbye. She had left him numerous messages, of which he replied to none. The only news she had gotten about him was when he was arrested, and she could still remember the disappointment she felt that day.

Lisbon shook her head slightly to clear the memories that threatened to creep up from the back of her mind. It was different this time. This time, he didn't just leave. He actually said goodbye.

"Whatever happens, first thing's first," Lisbon declared, pointing at her team. "You three, go home. Get some sleep."

"But Boss," Van Pelt started.

Lisbon shook her head. "It'll take the FBI a few days to wrap up Bertram's case and probably a few more after that for Red John's. In the mean time, you should go home. Rest. Okay?" Lisbon explained gently. She knew she was mothering them, telling them to go home, but it was the last time she would do it.

Slowly, they nodded.

"You guys go on first. I'll clean up," Lisbon said, standing up.

One by one, they stood up. The resigned look on their faces was coupled with absolute exhaustion. Quietly, they picked up their things, each taking a last long look around.

"Goodnight, Boss," Rigsby said with a small smile.

Lisbon smiled and patted his arm. "Goodnight, Wayne."

Van Pelt looked at her former boss with a sad look on her face. "Goodnight," she said, mouth tilting into a small smile when Lisbon pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Lisbon. For everything."

"It's been a pleasure. Goodnight, Grace," Lisbon said. Pulling away, she turned to Cho. Smiling at him, she patted his shoulder. "Goodnight, Kimball."

Cho nodded stiffly. "'Night."

"Go home," Lisbon repeated as she herded them out of the room. "Have a good rest."

Waving them goodbye, she watched as they disappeared around the corner of the corridor. Once she was alone, Lisbon turned and faced the room. Quietly, she moved the crates they were sitting on to the side of the room and cleared the empty beer cans into the pizza box. Lisbon stood in the middle of the room. It was so empty, yet she could still remember the makeshift bed Jane had created for himself, the empty boxes he used as shelves and the large whiteboard he had Ron drag up to the attic. He truly had made a nest for himself. He was probably more at home here in the attic than in his motel room.

In her mind's eye, Lisbon could see his tall, lean body stretched out on the bed, reading a book with a serious look on his face. A smile would then grace his features whenever she walked in, looking for him to bring him another case. She would probably never see that smile again, she thought. Where ever it was that he went, she hoped it was far away because if he ever came back, the FBI would find him and arrest him.

"Oh, Jane," Lisbon sighed. "Don't come back. Not even for me."

Lisbon took one last look around the place. This was his home. It was the closest thing she had of him at the moment; One last memory to add. She knew she would never see him again and damn, did it hurt. She felt that familiar squeeze in her chest when she realized she didn't - couldn't - say goodbye to him. Lisbon smiled wryly. The last thing she told him was "go." Lisbon released a long sigh. She shouldn't be lingering. There could be someone from the FBI coming to check up on the place and she didn't want to be arrested for the second time that day.

Step by agonizing step, she willed herself to cross the threshold of the door. A part of her didn't want to leave - leaving meant she would be leaving a large part of her behind. Still, she knew she must. The metal sliding door was cold to her touch. Lisbon's eyes roamed the room one last time, forcing herself to remember how it was before everything went south. Once she was satisfied that she would never forget, Lisbon knew it was time to go.

Inside, she knew it was already too late. There was no one there to hear her, especially not Jane, but she felt it necessary. Maybe somewhere, where ever he was, he would hear it. A ridiculous notion, but faith was one of her strong points.

Taking a deep breath, Lisbon whispered, "Goodbye, Jane." Lisbon pulled the door close, turned and walked away, never looking back.

* * *

A/N: A part of me tells me I should end it here but another part of me says I should continue until Lisbon gets her new job... I don't know. I have an inkling as to how it would happen (and if it does, it's probably going to be just another two or three more chapters... or more). Should I continue? Or end it here?

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Believe me when I say that making Lisbon say "Don't come back" was so hard I almost cried. Oh my shipper heart is so abused.

THANK YOU to all who followed/favourited/reviewed! Reviews are very much appreciated! Thanks for reading!


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